Have you woken up today with a pounding headache and a deep sense of regret? Congratulations, you’re officially celebrating International Hangover Day.
But don’t worry – help is at hand. Whatever hangover is plaguing you, here’s the lowdown on how to fix each one.
1. The Completely Unfair And Disproportionate One.
I only had one bottle of wine, HOW is this the proportionate response? This is the universe giving you all the hangovers you’ve been storing up for the last 10 years. Dark room. Bed. Do not even attempt to leave the house.
Quick Fix: You need Berocca/Ibuprofen/Lucozade like there is no tomorrow. Because literally your brain feels like there is no tomorrow.
2. The ‘Creeps Up On You At 5pm’ One.
You’re at work and been bossing your to-do-list. No one would even guess you were out till 3 o’clock this morning. Then all of a sudden you realise you’ve been drunk this whole time and it’s only now the hangover has reared it’s head.
Quick Fix: You promised yourself that you weren’t going to have any more caffeine today, but Starbucks is the only way out of this dark hole.
3. The Toilet One.
How much can one person be sick before it’s truly a medical concern? Spend the whole day in the foetal position on the bathroom floor.
Quick Fix: Your mum. Phone her now. She is the only person cut out for this.
4. The “Can You Die From A Hangover” One.
This is the hangover that always produces the “I will never drink again” claims. In fact you wonder how you’ll ever get out of this horizontal position ever again let alone get anywhere near a bar.
Quick Fix: Science may not back this up, but moaning to as many people about your hangover as possible is PROVEN to make it better. Well, that and Supernoodles. (Chicken flavour, obviously).
5. The Seven-Meals-In-One-Day Hangover.
There is only one thing that is going to make this carousel of nightmares go away, and that’s food. A fuck-load of it.
Quick Fix: Today is the day you deserve all the carbohydrates and can clear the contents of the fridge. There is no shame in having a full fry-up, jacket potato, sausages and mash, a curry and Dominos.
6. The Suspiciously Spritely One.
You feel fine, not even an indication of a hangover. You feel smug. Body I owe you one.
Quick Fix: You don’t need a fix, but you should carpe diem the hell out of today. Leave the house, be productive, make plans. Be your most sparkly, unicorn self because this one comes round once in a lifetime.
Please drink responsibly. For the facts, visit drinkaware.co.uk.